Instead: you killed my cat. TWICE. Fuck you.
VENGEANCE STRIKES WILL CONTINUE AT SPORADIC, UNFORSEEABLE INTERVALS UNTIL THE MAGYAR ARE APPEASED.
YOU AMERICAN FAGGY-POOFS DO NOT KNOW
SHIT ABOUT GUERILLA WARFARE, FOOLS.
I AM KUCZI. I AM YOUR DESTINY. YOU ARE MY STAFF.
GET BACK TO MY WORK. NOW. *click*
One has lost all their Jack★privileges by lying and thieving from me a lot. The other is Heather.
Heather has reasonable cause to be fearful of me, because she never met a man who isn't afraid of her. She's an immensely dangerous nemesis to anyone, especially mE! (Kudos.) And I didn't start stealing and lying to anyone. That's just how these dames are these days. I don't enjoy anyone being afraid of me. It's a ghastly feeling to me.
It's better than the contempt I have for the other one. Who didn't even know the sapphire was enchanted. To track her lying ass down, if ever it came to that. Instead, she has implied I expect something at all. Her to burst into flames when the sun comes up, maybe. Not never because she's Nosferatu, but because she actually thought she had gotten away with it. She's like Indiana Jones in the first sequence when he tries to take the idol and replace it with a bag of sand.
If I ever got that ring back, I'd give it to Heather and tell her to melt it down for bullets. And then I would tell everyone we were going to get married in a cemetery, a grave marked Dana, sex on an altar, blazing pot while making the beast with two backs and then, the story would go, I'd put the ring on and pronounce us Kike Warden and Spousepal at max apex peak ecstatic climax point of release. I would never confirm which of us were which, because I would never do any of this stuff.
In Minecraft. I would just tell everyone that I had done that with the ring. I don't need it back, but I know Heather knows people who could enchant stuff, and I would sooner have the ring property handled than let it be used as a prop for a fake marriage. She'll never give up that ring tho.
She's addicted to crystals, and it was a nice ring. It was also bait, she took it, AND THEN LIED ABOUT IT. 16 YEARS LATER: She's actually here? There goes the neighborhood. Eewww, gross.
And this will never change. Jack★privileges can vanish in a single holy instant. Heather has never lost anything with me. Heather Wade is my hero. Heather Wade is the wind beneath my wings. Heather Wade has class, dignity, and absolutely no reason to endure the jealous whinging of that halfkike rickhoumd. Is that woman bothering you, Your Majesty? Then have no fear. I can raise my magick stun baton and say, “By the power of the DivĪne, I hereby apply for the job of Kike Wardem, now can I just shoot her?” Again: I'm not going to harm anyone, nor am I going to actually go to any of this trouble.
Unless Heather Wade asks me too. In that case, the sky is the limit; for I am at her beck and bl∞dy call. Whatever she says, I'm going to front like I actually would do it right away, but I can't right just then, and I'll say it's because I'm on call and I might have to invoke DivĪne Authorization and become Kike Warden, I'll say it's my sacred destiny, and as I might only have a short time available to me before I am called upon by God to act in formal capacity as Kike Warden, and that's why I don't have time to do anything with or about or to her.
Because of God. To be sure, absolutely none of this is real. I'm just going to tell this story to everyone, every chance I get. Forever. They say diamonds are forever. They say diamonds are a girll’s best friend. Hey, that reminds me, what happened to my best friend?
Because I don't know what happened to my best friend, but an enchanted sapphire is a Sourcerœrs best friend, that's for damn sure. Hey, here's an idea: Heather Wade can tell me who my best friend is. Heather Wade can tell me anything at all. Heather Wade is an actual star.
Dana is a thief and I didn't want the ring. I want the truth. Melt it for scraps or smuggle it all together into a Turkish prison for all I give a damn. Hey, here's an idea perpwalk Dana right on through the front gates of an Armenian prison, and bribe someone who looks like Kike Warden could trust, with the ring. At that point, the shaggy dog story winds down.
Heather can have whatever she wants, because she's nice to me and... did I need something? No, not really. Not at all. Not any more. But at one point, I needed the truth.
Heather Wade tells me the truth with telepathy. Dana conceals the truth and mocks me for my defeat and, hey: Sperglord Dana and Heather Wade are not the same. *wiggle wiggle* They used to be both the same to me: dead to me.
I'm going to ask Heather Wade to turm me into Wonder Woman, so I can tie Dana up with my golden lariat and force her to tell the truth.
Alrighty then. None of that is ever going to happen, just like Dana will never give up that ring or tell the goddam truth. Especially the truth about how goddam embarrassing it must be... because I if she had ASKED, it would have seemed likely that I wouldn't think of the item as stolen. But I do, and her silence as in regards to what else has been stolen, well... it looks bad.
Even for a ½ Jew. It's amazing what denial can do. Listen, Brainiac, cut the shit. I bet you are Jerry. In any case, your seek‹rite pimpmong told me yesterday that I am a snitch. News to me. I asked for details and nothing further came. The next day, three names I never saw before and acted like they didn't coordinate, but did, came to do a drive-by psyop attack at me. I was told that I was “obsessed with a 16yo girl,” and that I was... PEDO
They can't even spell it. And at this time, I've withholding judgement. My Kike Warden Spousal Champion is Heather Wade.
And when Heather Wade talks people listen. Wow, I wonder how that experience presents to him. Because Superserial and Glowi showed up on my block list, and I need to know what they need to let about to me.
I also need running water. Dana: can you just be jealous when you stop being an...
ACCOMPLICE TO A LITERAL WAR CRIME?
Truly, we are not the same. I get lead to box canyon ambush and sprung a trap and 2½ years later...
Call me a piggy! Yeah, I bet you're jealous. Because Heather Wade controls your fate now. There, that should to it. I'm hoping she'll swallow her tongue and go into a grand mal seizure.
p s.:.WHORE FOR ROCIKS. JUNKY ADDICT
Imagine this: YOU GODDAM NEW THE ENTIRE TIME; ENJOY YOUR NEW FEDERAL INVESTIGATION, SCUM QUEEN! INTO THE MUD!
Not one person is telling me what took place.
But they want my money and to defame me. STILL. Bite down on this leather strap, Perp Pate. You had ample time to start writing checks and shoveling my shit. WTAF? Are you busy? I guess you are now. CHECKJAFDMATE, now go rub my wives’ feet with the contents of your wallet. Maybe you can all trifle with each other a few dozen more times. Scratch that itch, hey here's an idea: buy everyone matching thong underwear. In fluorescent Day-Glo stripes. Something with some class.
* Jackstar wonders if he looks too fat.
NEARLY THREE YEARS. L’Haim, Olive Oyl.
