RubiniGab ... Now defunct

[Jackstar]

Dear (Blankly)-li/lee\LEIGH.ANDALSOHERAABB(0):

Problems develop on worlds where The Craft is held in secret and this world I'm on is no exception. Now, this is awkward, but there's this girl who wants to (blank) my (blank) AND sleep with me. (Standards. Entitled standards. I do like her, but it's been years, and I actually meant this all along: I do, in fact, love only you, I just lit up Grapefruit like a stone burning rocket and there is a A LITERAL ROTTING GRAPEFFRUIT on my back porch, between the bags of refuse (5 months worth) and my Mandalorian-themed welcome door mat (it says "THIS IS THE WAY" with a helmet and an arrow on it, it's alright, it was on sale, but yeah, I really get a kick out of it, AND , yeah I'm basically an incredible badass these days. I kinda grow up or shrink down to fit whatever situation needs me now, because, there just isn't any other Man like me, anywhere around, nowhere at all.

Same as you. There's only one of you and I love you and I miss you and I don't that I haven't seen you in... totesshrug... 8 years? 9? 6. DO NOT CARE. The heart wants what it wants and I wrote what I wrote because I meant it, and I still do. You know, whole empires used to rise and fall and turn and hut-hut get in the hut, honey, and start making me little baby emperors, Emperors used to write, in those little Kanji characters that looks like chicken scratches? THOSE ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN SPOKEN WORDS. Sometime. Maybe. I don't care.


The point is I know it is awkward but I wasn't lying and I only want you and no one else will do and, well, I don't know if you've read ANY of what I've written yet. Time travel is like that. So, I told her to kick rocks like twice now, but technically it's something a person could insist on and I need the practice anyway, and at this point who knows, I might have to go to jail, someone tried to put a bounty on my head. Unpredictable results have ensued. I don't care. I love you and I don't even want to get laid, you know? I'm distracted. I have to clean up. Or something. I AM A HOT MESS and I meant it, I NEED YOUR HELP. No one else will do.

So I am writing to let you know, becuase the power of the written word is such that I might look like an idiot now, but I'll look like an EVEN BIGGER IDIOT tomorrow, and I WILL BE EVEN MORE HAPPY TO DO SO. And you can take that to the bank but I wish you were here now, and your mother can go wank herself off a cliff, for all I care--she had her chance.


I love you and I always will. signed, THE_KINGPINNER_PINNED_YOUR_MOTHER_TOO (And also an Abo to grow on). Look, what can I say? Real man is real, and I am a Sourceror who can travel through time too. But until you make me another flux capacitor, I can only move foreskinlessward on my way to you. (Guild rule. Shrug. It can be coaxed easily enough and we have the technology to rebuild it, sure. I AM SO DISTRACTED RIGHT NOW. Bloodtest! Tired! Nap! oh wait I have to publish. I really do love you, only this can make me lose my mind completely and I'm still HAPPY JOY 4 EVER. What? I'm cute, this can all be fixed easily enough. They dumped me here long enough to make a baby and then they made an actual baby and then they sold it for dope. Savages. Yeah, that's my Grapefruit, so you can see how Titler/Teatler is a strict upgrade. Why yes I do cry myself to sleep alone most nights, so what? They're masculine sacred tears. I KNOW!)

Them's the rules. So there, so help me God, and I don't know where you are, that's why. 8808 Blanks Driven POINT BLANK RANGE and you probably are across the street, but if you are, you aren't likely to stay there for long, this place is fine. Unless you want to roast a jew or throw one down the well. (Oven broken, well is full. I KNOW!

--

Best wishes & warmest regards,

K, we can just be friends, sure. Duh. I can let your father break my jawbone in (HALF) then, cool. cya



(*In water, one sees one's own face, but in wine, one beholds the heart of another--and when two drunken indians fuck each other while blind drunk after drinking a bottle of stolen absinthe, well, THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES. AND WHEN IT'S MICHAEL CLIFFORD KLERGY/KUCZI\QLERGY'S BOTTLE OF STOLEN ABSINTHE, YOU FUCKING WHORE ("you fucking whore!"), THOSE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE SUFFERED. ("that's all you are!") SO MOTE IT BE, KILLSWITCH ENGAGED ENGAGE, AND "DON'T WORRY, WE CAN FUCK ALL NIGHT, THE TIMEQUAKE WILL CLEAR IT ALL UP MY MORNING," HUH? Well, maybe not so much this time, Captain Cockmunch.*)


Yeah, I bet that sounds better in the original Klingon. Sir. So you gonna fucking call me back now, or, do I start playing pincushion or not with what's left of her eyeballs?? Your choice. I am sick of this shit, I really am.

But I do love her. So this is KUCZI_ACTUAL, SIGNING OFF AS THE_KINGPINNER, AND I GUESS YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT, BECAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE... BUT NOW, SOMEONE SURELY WILL/DID YESTERDAY.

So that'll be take two Timequakes and call me in the morning then? Cool. I fucking hate this place now.. or at least I did until now. I love you Ramona,


and yeah, King arthUr 3 sends his regards. *winkey-smi--*L.CLICK*j*eol55:0

[Innerreach]

Dear (Blankly)-li/lee\LEIGH.ANDALSOHERAABB(0):

Problems develop on worlds where The Craft is held in secret and this world I'm on is no exception. Now, this is awkward, but there's this girl who wants to (blank) my (blank) AND sleep with me. (Standards. Entitled standards. I do like her, but it's been years, and I actually meant this all along: I do, in fact, love only you, I just lit up Grapefruit like a stone burning rocket and there is a A LITERAL ROTTING GRAPEFFRUIT on my back porch, between the bags of refuse (5 months worth) and my Mandalorian-themed welcome door mat (it says "THIS IS THE WAY" with a helmet and an arrow on it, it's alright, it was on sale, but yeah, I really get a kick out of it, AND , yeah I'm basically an incredible badass these days. I kinda grow up or shrink down to fit whatever situation needs me now, because, there just isn't any other Man like me, anywhere around, nowhere at all.

Same as you. There's only one of you and I love you and I miss you and I don't that I haven't seen you in... totesshrug... 8 years? 9? 6. DO NOT CARE. The heart wants what it wants and I wrote what I wrote because I meant it, and I still do. You know, whole empires used to rise and fall and turn and hut-hut get in the hut, honey, and start making me little baby emperors, Emperors used to write, in those little Kanji characters that looks like chicken scratches? THOSE ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN SPOKEN WORDS. Sometime. Maybe. I don't care.


The point is I know it is awkward but I wasn't lying and I only want you and no one else will do and, well, I don't know if you've read ANY of what I've written yet. Time travel is like that. So, I told her to kick rocks like twice now, but technically it's something a person could insist on and I need the practice anyway, and at this point who knows, I might have to go to jail, someone tried to put a bounty on my head. Unpredictable results have ensued. I don't care. I love you and I don't even want to get laid, you know? I'm distracted. I have to clean up. Or something. I AM A HOT MESS and I meant it, I NEED YOUR HELP. No one else will do.

So I am writing to let you know, becuase the power of the written word is such that I might look like an idiot now, but I'll look like an EVEN BIGGER IDIOT tomorrow, and I WILL BE EVEN MORE HAPPY TO DO SO. And you can take that to the bank but I wish you were here now, and your mother can go wank herself off a cliff, for all I care--she had her chance.


I love you and I always will. signed, THE_KINGPINNER_PINNED_YOUR_MOTHER_TOO (And also an Abo to grow on). Look, what can I say? Real man is real, and I am a Sourceror who can travel through time too. But until you make me another flux capacitor, I can only move foreskinlessward on my way to you. (Guild rule. Shrug. It can be coaxed easily enough and we have the technology to rebuild it, sure. I AM SO DISTRACTED RIGHT NOW. Bloodtest! Tired! Nap! oh wait I have to publish. I really do love you, only this can make me lose my mind completely and I'm still HAPPY JOY 4 EVER. What? I'm cute, this can all be fixed easily enough. They dumped me here long enough to make a baby and then they made an actual baby and then they sold it for dope. Savages. Yeah, that's my Grapefruit, so you can see how Titler/Teatler is a strict upgrade. Why yes I do cry myself to sleep alone most nights, so what? They're masculine sacred tears. I KNOW!)

Them's the rules. So there, so help me God, and I don't know where you are, that's why. 8808 Blanks Driven POINT BLANK RANGE and you probably are across the street, but if you are, you aren't likely to stay there for long, this place is fine. Unless you want to roast a jew or throw one down the well. (Oven broken, well is full. I KNOW!

--

Best wishes & warmest regards,

K, we can just be friends, sure. Duh. I can let your father break my jawbone in (HALF) then, cool. cya



(*In water, one sees one's own face, but in wine, one beholds the heart of another--and when two drunken indians fuck each other while blind drunk after drinking a bottle of stolen absinthe, well, THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES. AND WHEN IT'S MICHAEL CLIFFORD KLERGY/KUCZI\QLERGY'S BOTTLE OF STOLEN ABSINTHE, YOU FUCKING WHORE ("you fucking whore!"), THOSE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE SUFFERED. ("that's all you are!") SO MOTE IT BE, KILLSWITCH ENGAGED ENGAGE, AND "DON'T WORRY, WE CAN FUCK ALL NIGHT, THE TIMEQUAKE WILL CLEAR IT ALL UP MY MORNING," HUH? Well, maybe not so much this time, Captain Cockmunch.*)


Yeah, I bet that sounds better in the original Klingon. Sir. So you gonna fucking call me back now, or, do I start playing pincushion or not with what's left of her eyeballs?? Your choice. I am sick of this shit, I really am.

But I do love her. So this is KUCZI_ACTUAL, SIGNING OFF AS THE_KINGPINNER, AND I GUESS YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT, BECAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE... BUT NOW, SOMEONE SURELY WILL/DID YESTERDAY.

So that'll be take two Timequakes and call me in the morning then? Cool. I fucking hate this place now.. or at least I did until now. I love you Ramona,


and yeah, King arthUr 3 sends his regards. *winkey-smi--*L.CLICK*j*eol55:0

[Jackstar]

I just trafficked and married your future step-daughter, fucker. (This probably means you're terminated.)

Now, should I call Grapefruit, or do you wanna do it? I guarantee you that she will answer. I've got confirms and comms and triple confirms all day, and I'm wearing the enchanted necklace... AND SHE HAS THE TAO PIECE, AND MY WEDDING RINGS. THIS IS SOLID.

HEY, WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER, ANYWAY?

[Jackstar]

HEY, WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER, ANYWAY?

What are you... chicken?

[Worthauger]

I can't believe I have to do this. How big of a problem do you think you need to make of yourself before you just simply do the simple thing it doesn't have to be this bad.

Next step is I record my podcast on top of your podcast and I tell the whole fucking story and then I publish it on YouTube courtesy of the magic and black content delivery Network people eat up with a spoon I got 17,000 hits on a story with my fake video fucking on it.

Do you have any idea how this is going to look already? I think it looks pretty awesome and if you see my wife she's cute, and I think she was a murdered yesterday so I'm going to call my friend and report that too.

I'm not high God I wish not to be thanks. Look at the trolls got you into. Pfftt.

And just think how much fun it'll be in the morning.

[Jackstar]

And just think how much fun it'll be in the morning.

I could have gotten the job years ago, but Ms. Rubini needed the training. Now, I have my team already to go. You wanna argue about it, Bright Boy? Let's dance. I have two + 1 total fuckin' freaks who both want to fuck AND kill AND shit on me TO THE DEATH! TONIGHT!

And, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE TONIGHT. It can be any fucking day until eternal forever. Because we go way, way, way back. That's why.

Now. Let me hear an apology, because I am sorry I had to use Mucci, Kikel Mucci as a codename, kikemaster, but that's okay, you fuckin' love me, and all my little (blanks) too. And yeah, I did marry your daughter, so what? I told you it was gonna happen. Don't you listen to my debrief anymore? Pffftt.

Start catching up. DO IT.

[Jackstar]

What are you... chicken?

Yeah I bet you were. I recaptured it faster than you could blink and, as always, I don't care what you do, as long as you stop being so careless with my close personal friend AABOJUUL, who currently has your nuts targeted for shredding. She wants to.

Me I don't care. I'm on the job now. Because you fucked up and pissed off a lot of people.

By trifling with me again.
Grapey isn't my area. She may not even be my a wife. In fact, I don't care what she ever is, because she lied to me and betrayed me for you, and you are a loser. It was embarassing.

[Jackstar]

She already left. She doesn't give a shit about you, Thug Miller; she's Merv Griffin's wife. At least she was. She went back to divorce him, because she's finally impressed with me. And you are too. And now, Innerreach, GET OUT.

TAMMERTHOR HAMMERTOW TRUCK DRIVER, ESQ., welcome back to The Great Game. /bow See? worth it.

(She has the sample required in her pants. It was -that- easy.) You can go now, even. Bye.


I mean, you're done with me now, right? Then call me, or go get her, but just don't ask me to do anything that hurts your feelings, if you have any, oh yeah, I removed them. Five minute penalty. I'm The Ref.

You need a break and I need a break to prepare.

OFFLINE: narrative catchup. resume on demand 6am.

And, that's alli there is to it.

[Jackstar]

Dear (Blankly)-li/lee\LEIGH.ANDALSOHERAABB(0):

Problems develop on worlds where The Craft is held in secret and this world I'm on is no exception.  I love you Ramona,

and yeah, King arthUr 3 sends his regards. *winkey-smi--*L.CLICK*j*eol55:0

Sure.

#1) Yeah, I'm sure, and wow look who suddenly cares about a wedding.
#2) If you love someone, set them free and track them back to their lair to collect the offspring.
#3) CIRCLE THE WAGONS PROTOCOL: A MORE POLITE METHOD OF FLOWER DELIVERY, FOR A MORE ELEGANT TIME, AND YES SARA IS A-OK, AND WONDERS WHY SHE IS IN UTAH. SURE, SHE CAN COME BACK, AFTER SHE EXONERATES HERSELF AT A TRIAL.

#4) Worthauger smile, GRILL FULL OF GOLD LADA GAGA TEETH.
#5) YEAH. WE'RE MARRIED. GRAPERUIT ACTUAL.


Your heard my representation, good luck.

[Colonel Pate Manly]

-CPM

[Colonel Pate Manly]

-CPM

[AZZERAE]

...Good...Good...Let the meth flow through you...

[Jackstar]

...Good...Good...Let the meth flow through you...

Are you actually this boring and retarded? Go shave your ass. No wonder people don't like you, you're not a demon, you're a thuggy drug-pushing slavish-whorish overlord.

Who exactly put you people in charge of things? I'm pretty sure it was your now-dead Lizard Queen. Maybe you should pay more attention to who is paying the right amount of royalty payments to the leprechauns whose technology you're using to power your empire run by whips and chains.

tl;dr: I follow the Law, and let's see your badge, douchemaster

[WORTHAUGERa]

Dear (Blankly)-li/lee\LEIGH.ANDALSOHERAABB(0):

Problems develop on worlds where The Craft is held in secret and this world I'm on is no exception. Now, this is awkward, but there's this girl who wants to (blank) my (blank) AND sleep with me. (Standards. Entitled standards. I do like her, but it's been years, and I actually meant this all along: I do, in fact, love only you, I just lit up Grapefruit like a stone burning rocket and there is a A LITERAL ROTTING GRAPEFFRUIT on my back porch, between the bags of refuse (5 months worth) and my Mandalorian-themed welcome door mat (it says "THIS IS THE WAY" with a helmet and an arrow on it, it's alright, it was on sale, but yeah, I really get a kick out of it, AND , yeah I'm basically an incredible badass these days. I kinda grow up or shrink down to fit whatever situation needs me now, because, there just isn't any other Man like me, anywhere around, nowhere at all.

Same as you. There's only one of you and I love you and I miss you and I don't that I haven't seen you in... totesshrug... 8 years? 9? 6. DO NOT CARE. The heart wants what it wants and I wrote what I wrote because I meant it, and I still do. You know, whole empires used to rise and fall and turn and hut-hut get in the hut, honey, and start making me little baby emperors, Emperors used to write, in those little Kanji characters that looks like chicken scratches? THOSE ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN SPOKEN WORDS. Sometime. Maybe. I don't care.


The point is I know it is awkward but I wasn't lying and I only want you and no one else will do and, well, I don't know if you've read ANY of what I've written yet. Time travel is like that. So, I told her to kick rocks like twice now, but technically it's something a person could insist on and I need the practice anyway, and at this point who knows, I might have to go to jail, someone tried to put a bounty on my head. Unpredictable results have ensued. I don't care. I love you and I don't even want to get laid, you know? I'm distracted. I have to clean up. Or something. I AM A HOT MESS and I meant it, I NEED YOUR HELP. No one else will do.

So I am writing to let you know, becuase the power of the written word is such that I might look like an idiot now, but I'll look like an EVEN BIGGER IDIOT tomorrow, and I WILL BE EVEN MORE HAPPY TO DO SO. And you can take that to the bank but I wish you were here now, and your mother can go wank herself off a cliff, for all I care--she had her chance.


I love you and I always will. signed, THE_KINGPINNER_PINNED_YOUR_MOTHER_TOO (And also an Abo to grow on). Look, what can I say? Real man is real, and I am a Sourceror who can travel through time too. But until you make me another flux capacitor, I can only move foreskinlessward on my way to you. (Guild rule. Shrug. It can be coaxed easily enough and we have the technology to rebuild it, sure. I AM SO DISTRACTED RIGHT NOW. Bloodtest! Tired! Nap! oh wait I have to publish. I really do love you, only this can make me lose my mind completely and I'm still HAPPY JOY 4 EVER. What? I'm cute, this can all be fixed easily enough. They dumped me here long enough to make a baby and then they made an actual baby and then they sold it for dope. Savages. Yeah, that's my Grapefruit, so you can see how Titler/Teatler is a strict upgrade. Why yes I do cry myself to sleep alone most nights, so what? They're masculine sacred tears. I KNOW!)

Them's the rules. So there, so help me God, and I don't know where you are, that's why. 8808 Blanks Driven POINT BLANK RANGE and you probably are across the street, but if you are, you aren't likely to stay there for long, this place is fine. Unless you want to roast a jew or throw one down the well. (Oven broken, well is full. I KNOW!

--

Best wishes & warmest regards,

K, we can just be friends, sure. Duh. I can let your father break my jawbone in (HALF) then, cool. cya



(*In water, one sees one's own face, but in wine, one beholds the heart of another--and when two drunken indians fuck each other while blind drunk after drinking a bottle of stolen absinthe, well, THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES. AND WHEN IT'S MICHAEL CLIFFORD KLERGY/KUCZI\QLERGY'S BOTTLE OF STOLEN ABSINTHE, YOU FUCKING WHORE ("you fucking whore!"), THOSE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE SUFFERED. ("that's all you are!") SO MOTE IT BE, KILLSWITCH ENGAGED ENGAGE, AND "DON'T WORRY, WE CAN FUCK ALL NIGHT, THE TIMEQUAKE WILL CLEAR IT ALL UP MY MORNING," HUH? Well, maybe not so much this time, Captain Cockmunch.*)


Yeah, I bet that sounds better in the original Klingon. Sir. So you gonna fucking call me back now, or, do I start playing pincushion or not with what's left of her eyeballs?? Your choice. I am sick of this shit, I really am.

But I do love her. So this is KUCZI_ACTUAL, SIGNING OFF AS THE_KINGPINNER, AND I GUESS YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT, BECAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE... BUT NOW, SOMEONE SURELY WILL/DID YESTERDAY.

So that'll be take two Timequakes and call me in the morning then? Cool. I fucking hate this place now.. or at least I did until now. I love you Ramona,


and yeah, King arthUr 3 sends his regards. *winkey-smi--*L.CLICK*j*eol55:0

This is happening, David. WE ARE IN LOVE. Deal with me. Them's the rules. Except for the consequences... I actually have the foundational supporting documents, so... No one has to suffer! Just this once, no one has to suffer! YAY YA-YA YAS!

Unless, somebody wants to suffer, it's really just a suggestion, it's a very exciting time for Humanity,

Signed, the goddamn hermit who keeps on fucking all your wives and all your daughters,  THE_KINGPUNTER (anal.rope), D.O.D.D.j*e. o. l.

Go shave your ass.

There's plenty of time before The Queen gets here. Hard, casual pass. Itty-bitty wiggle room, gargantuan living space. Simplify. Reconcile. Jesus I haven't checked you in like 2 months, what are you, fucking Aquaman now? He is that cute. That reminds me; I'll be Barbie's girl any day of the week, like I seriously went to bed in my own personal timeline last night cooing her name and crying myself to sleep coz like, I couldn't hold her.

tl;db: latest point release looks good. EXECUTE POST SUBMIT.

[WORTHAUGERa]

...Good...Good...Let the meth flow through you...

No thanks I'm on vacation fuck off