All of all y’all can feel confident in feeling totesure that there won’t be any G-ddam jackassed JackCast coming out today, either. You wanna know why? I’ll tell you why, and it’s so simple, so basic, so… elementary, that I have no need to demand tens of thousands of fiat dollars in crypto in order to make it worth my while. There are two reasons; and two reasons only. I shall enumerate them below, JUST KIDDING MOTHAFU— *click*
Just kidding. Turns out I need to practice being open and honest anyway. Publicly. I’ve been so disciplined in my integrity, all by myself, for the last 33 years—Sourcerory doesn’t actually require that much study, I was just spending a lot of time drinking my own {PLURAL_NOUN:GLANDULAR_SECRETION}—that I never actually learnt the basic foundational groundwork skills to put on a polite show.
Nevertheless, a lack of such grace never stopped my father, it never stopped my aunt, and it has never stopped me from saying, “I told you so!!” to every G-ddam Pisces that ever thought to cross my path with anything other than wine, roses, and/or chum. See? Effective.
I may not be polite 100% of the time, but I am effective all of the time. Perhaps I’m compensating for something? I wouldn’t know. I don’t know — I don’t know everything.
*polite chuckle*
See? Polite. It works wonders. Anyway, that’s not why I’m not doing the show. I’ll be rude if I want to. Because I don’t want to. See how that works? No… no, you probably don’t, you G—ddam barely functioning functional (synonym for “dopeslave”). See, in order to learn how to be more polite, I actually have to do the show. Reasons why I’m not, are because I can’t, and I can’t because of the aforementioned two reasons. And two reasons only. I shall renumerate these now:
Number one, somebody shut down their protection grid. Again. Like, holy shit. For real? Why don’t you just stab me in the dick? Oh, wait. Grape– and at least a couple other fruits have got dibs. And… now stay with me here, because this is important: I have never shut down mine.
Imagine how good it feels to be totesfree from civil &/or criminal liability, and then, IDK, write me a poem. I’d like to remember. In any case, regardless of future outcomes—actually irregardless here—if I somehow find myself vulnerable, it won’t be for anything else but for love, and not because I cut the power to my own G-ddam security system THAT I LITERALLY SPENT THE BETTER, LARGER, & HERETOFORE CLANDESTINE PART OF THREE DECADES BUILDING.
*ahem* I’m sorry, I have to ask: is ALL CAPS impolite or polite now? Seems like everyone pronounces COVID like they’re JeffK anyway. Moving on.
To the same drawing board. I considered taking up diving but, I kinda already did, Muffin Chops. Shut down your protection grid, huh? What? Well, is there someone you can call that might know what that’s even like? Because I wouldn’t be able to take such a call. (It would be impolite to die laughing on the phone… unless it was with The Trustee.)
Because I’ve never shut down my own protection grid, dumbass. The textbook facepalm textpalm you met who when where why HOW? Facebook moment. No, don’t write me a poem, unless it comes with a free pitcher of beer. Similarly: no fireplace, no Great American Novel, no Star De-Brief, NO FUCKING DEALS.
And I have no patience or tolerance for this kind of thing. This is not how Life is meant to be lived. Certainly, I am deadtotesure that this is not how My life is meant to be lived. And so, for the benefit of all — for I will always be on the side of those who have nothing & who are not even left alone to enjoy what little nothing they have in peace — THE STRIKE CONTINUES.
The second reason is that my laptop charger has been exposed to SARS–CoV2 and the tw*t I hired to sanitize my electronic equipment turned out to be a real flake. And I’m too cheap to just buy another laptop charger -or- electronic equipment sanitizer technician. Interning or nothing, CITIZENS.
The Trustee will have me killed if I waste any more money. Hey, here’s an idea: JUST YOU FUCKING WAIT.
IT’S COMING.
SOON.
ONLY ON THE MIB–CDEN.
AFTER THESE DEMONS ARE DONE GNAWING ON MY {body_part:NON-BONE}.
