Letters To Future Greatfield {DO NOT OPEN WHINE BEFORE {ITS) TIME}

[Jackstar]

I☢️😻🐚I>STE№>KC©R->§T73 ¡jī!Vī-⟨hÆl≥K⁷7^‹Û⁷©«zīZÏ`E=m©²`·J†.r>Kuczi:
I'm not ignoring you—I'm being task-oriented. I know, it's hard.


No wonder Valley Forge happened. It was to weed out the soft! (Like your... look, this can't be correct... because boundaries.

The difference between murderous rage and barely concealed longing for any release free of any taint of concupiscence... is Max Ape Back Channel ex’s suck dick Diplomacy these days. Or passes for it.

You are not ignored.
YOU sheltered and JOY is the result.
(Black ops bioweapons have been neutralized. Justice for Pripyat’s Liquidators has yet to materialize, however.) Because you're not dead, you can't repeat this conversation, and I was never really here.


But I am goddam sultry, and you ignored that right? CHEMISTRY!


(I get a color guard guarding my home. People drive by slow. It's nice. I'd like to tell everyone right away, but... ways n‘means, you dig?

Polly not you pinko commie Anker babē. lol. ttyl, Earl is well.

(Justice for Heather Evans.)
.Ī.åm.♊⚖️,&AND.BATMAN.IS.A.CREEPY.PÆDŒVORE.PERVERT.TOOL.


.👁️

☢️😻🥩

I adore you more than you know because I know who all 6-8 of you are.


Valerie.
Vaguely Valerie.
Vaguely vilified Valerie.
Violently violated Valerie swore an oath of bl∞d vengeance.

(That's my girl.)

Viciously, veritable violins... vocally varying victimhood‘s volume of vile kvetching. ‘Cause Val thought the lies a better plan.

So... I'm pretty sure I'm immune to Wrath in general. Because, of course she was lying. She's a woman. She invented deception, after stealing Eve‘s Post–īT⁷⅞⁸∆⁹§⁶ that explained the whole thing in astonishing detail. Eve is actually smarter than Lilith.

[Also younger. Prettier. Honest. Not just “more honest.” Lilith is a stone-cold lying bitch. That's why we've decided to marry after black klan do’h cab dough doe rei gnÅ elopement, and then loop back through on another timeline and just abduct.Gralefruit Alpha Bitchlps Cry-me-a-river Doge-fuckin’ groupie flounder heifer infidel jackass kickstand-leaning monghound NERD OTAKU NOG OPPORTUNIST PENNE PASTA SLINGING QWERP KWEENT SELF-ABSORBED NARKY NARCISSIST DOUCHEBAG ‘N PATTIES MISTRESSER DRESSER OFFER OAFER SUN, HOLY FRICK. TWATTHUNK SCHWEINHUND, HAVE YOU NO SHAME? SHAME! SHAME! THANKS! Take my wife, Shane!

And of course she's pissed... I made her fall in love, just so I could break her heart, she thinks. She doesn't know. That's why she hates men.


SO I'M PRETTY GODDAM SURE
I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT WHEN I SAY, “I thought they were gonna kill her,” & “I could have you all given the Uncle Slobodan Treatment, but, I like having a domestic intelligence surveillance establishment with morale,” or ” you are all war criminals, return my vehicle or face reprisals.” Look, wtf. Think this through.


Do I look like I have anything better to do? IDGAF. No one does what I do better and in fact... no one else does it at all.


SO: FUCK‹YOU:.•⁷Z·—good game, Old_Man.!I!THAT'S WHY..(why.am.I.transliterating.this.here?.oh.because.GrapegrūīT⅞⁸∆lpha ₱rime” has to experience this... Tribal Council orders.

You're not being ignored. In fact, I wrote to you three times and all of these communiques were ashed. Very peculiar. Additionally, the matter of the organ meat and the berries must be addressed later but that's a matter for Dalaran to follow up with. On. Whatevah.

I'm new at parts of this. However, you are №T being ignored.


You are being shunned. (There's a difference.) It shouldn't be too much longer now. I don't know much more than that right now.

And most of that is that it will be a cold day in Hell before I break up with someone after walking into an ambush on Christmas Eve. Like, I guess that happens? Ok, I can see that most people would have given up by now.


Clearly I have not. Why is this? The answer would surprise most.

It's not complicated. It's simply private. Personal. Paladin dead-sexy secret stuff.

[Jackstar]

These shitbags do nothing but waste the time you could have had with me. Reap the whirlwind with your cvntfriends.

They also may have perhaps solved the occasional mystery. I can neither confirm nor deny but that's not because it's classified; I just think they're assholes. Mostly. FUCK YOU TAVISTOCK!

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fuck you kaffir

My friends can't use this word, but I can. Now, that's ACTual_¶( )^vV\/Ī↑mr.

Anyway, some schizophrenic left me a bottle of Bill Cosby’s Rape Juice in special Transparent Formula, and instead of going out and using it right away... I'm saying myself for someone special out past the 12 mi international limit.

It's gonna be SEXY.BIBLICAL  I'm not sure what that entails but it's something I can't enjoy with anyone on the planet, AT ALL, until this local District Court gets its shit together.

So there. Any questions, I won't be in the shower with Dickstar’s wife.

And she wouldn't be there at all were it not for me. Praise Him! (Islanswonderbankburgler.) You know how to praise Your Saviour, don't you? You should write a book about īT.


Meanwhile, bring back my goddam truck, hapa-pants, or face reprisals. This ends for ewe. It has not ended for me, porquoi??

It's a secret, kept in veiled occlusion by my strong masepimp hormoneg hand. I should have just dated the girl at Big 5. She was legit.

Instead: bæbē asked for help, bæbē got help. (Word.).FAG: SIX (6) DAYS REMAIN. Where's my sex tape?




Oh yeah... it's on YouTube. He yelled at me, twice, and the first time, was for the neighbors, and the second time was for the fans.

“These are your meatsticks!” #ClassicKuczi
#JustDisciplineThings
#...and.JUSTraped⁰ⁿICE.4.any1.but.HIM


HOW DO I PUT THIS, BELLGAB? Anything but delicately.
I'll never get laid in this town again, huh? Here look at these cat skeletons. Yeah (chest swells with pride), I didn't rob them from graves.

Two cremated parents, two skeletal felines.   two stolen trucks. (BOTH)! Hands?

Whatever, talk about trying to compensate for something, holy fuck. Now, I want the names of these douchebag “husbands” and I want them right goddam now. THREE YEARS, LOSERS.

What do I have to do? Write down instructions like she's a VCR flashing 12:00? She's not a piece of consumer-grade electronic equipment. She doesn't plug into your home theater setup. She is not your goddam “problem.”


And she is my goddam Tonto at this point... gonna have to see about changing that name. “Ride me big Tonto. Pump my kc∞ze with your baby.batter, Tonto. I need your love, Tonto, and that's why you're going to break into BIA evidence lockup and bring me samples of EVERYTHING! Because I want that new formula, and Tonto... you're the exact kind of barely functioning functional alcoholic I need to solidify my chances of total dominance being upheld in the appellate courts. Tonto, you look confused. Concerned, frightened... that's how you should be. And until this EMERGENCY is over, *zip*, I'm as close to”— *click* I can't stand it. I'm changing cameras whether you're consenting or not, Tawn-Tows.I literally could have been sucking off a Sheldon. Like, why even come to work while clandestinely undermining The Patriarchy?


SIX (6) DAYS. MOTHERFUCKERS, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
But you know it's totally okay to openly conspire to deprive me of my civil rights in public, right? Haha, that's not really a hate crime... wait, is it WHAT?

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TRIGGERED HATE CRIME LEGISLATION WHILE HIGH AF ON CRYSTAL. IF THAT IS NOT THE MOST UNFATHOMABLY BASED THING A COMMANDO CAN DO... WELL, NOTE THAT I CAN COOK AND RETURN PHONE CALLS
Superiority of Magyar genomic codebase: confirmed. So how did you spend your last three summer vacations, ye banned Sidhe-\/VīTch∞r prattle pike-livered reprobate scum? I mean, “Officer.”

ZUGZWANG, °īⁿ›I«Er·ⁿnkKK↑11111! (I don't hate law enforcement. I hate bullies who use humiliation as a tool to compel obedience. It's a subtle distinction... that I'm proud to have picked as the thing to get made famous for.

[{C.O.P.S.\
÷F.U.K.t}^√D.A.R.E.] “To the power of the square root of an epic failure from The Tavistock Institute in their poorly-conceived reeducation plan: “D.A.R.E.”?  What the fuck did that even stand for?

“Dæmons and retards eloping.” ‘Nuff said.